So You Can Rest
by TheDangerousHumanLizardCat
Summary: Bruno shouldn't have died. At least, that's what Yusei had convinced himself. When nightmares of the death of said blue-haired friend plague his sleep, Yusei finds himself more easily able to relax in the arms of his orange-haired companion.


**So You Can Rest**

"_I lost my memories… I came here to find them."_

"N…no…wait…"

"_One of us has to be swallowed by the black hole for the track to end."_

"Wait…come back…"

"_I saw your potential. Go save this world!"_

"No…stop…no…no…NO! BRUNOOOOO!"

"Yusei!"

"Gah…!"

Yusei sat up suddenly in bed, sweating and panting. He held a hand to his own chest for a moment and could feel his heart beating rapidly. He blinked a few times as his eyes adjusted to the small light filling the area around him. A soothing hand touched his face gently and brushed his bangs back from his forehead.

"Hey, buddy," a soft voice said in the darkness. The figure attached to the hand moved closer. Blinking again, Yusei started to see the outline of Crow drawing nearer to him. Crow held his cell phone in one hand, the screen lit up to illuminate Yusei's face, and used his free hand to brush Yusei's bangs back again. "Rough night again, huh?"

"Crow…" Yusei whispered his friend's name, still breathing hard. He shifted himself a few inches to the side as Crow moved to sit next to him.

"Another nightmare?" Crow asked softly, setting the phone down on the bed. He reached over to the nightstand and turned the lamp on to a low setting.

"I…n-no…" Yusei replied, voice shaking. Crow smiled and put a hand on Yusei's hand.

"You don't have to do the tough-guy act with me," he said warmly. "I know you're tough. Be vulnerable, I'll protect ya'."

Yusei shuddered slightly. Vulnerable was exactly what he was feeling at the moment, and the last thing he wanted to be. Speaking of vulnerable, he suddenly became aware of that he was topless and grabbed the sheets to cover himself. Crow laughed and gently pushed the sheets back down.

"I meant tell me what's going on, but you can be vulnerable that way, too. I've seen you naked enough times." Crow smiled devilishly, and laughed again as Yusei blushed. "I'll stop. Now, what did Bruno do this time?"

"I…wasn't dreaming…" Yusei stammered, freezing up a bit at the question. He cursed Crow in his head for knowing him so well. "I just…overheated."

"Overheated? Nah, you don't go screaming the name of your blue-haired companion when you overheat. Now, tell me what happened to Bruno?"

Yusei swallowed and gripped the sheets. He took a deep breath in to steady himself as much as he could. "I…I just…watched him die again."

Crow squeezed Yusei's hand reassuringly. "That dream again, huh?" Yusei nodded. "That was really horrible for you, I know. You've hardly slept since it happened. When you have slept…well, I've ended up not sleeping so much, because you don't exactly wake up easy."

"I'm sorry—" Yusei started to say, but Crow held up a hand to cut him off.  
"You shouldn't be sorry; I don't mean that in a negative way, at all. Taking care of my best friend is the most important thing I could do. Waking up to you screaming, though, that's a bit heart-shattering. And before you can even think to apologize, I want you to stop and just feel for a moment. Feel what you need to from that dream, feel how tired you are, feel my hand on yours here, and feel how important you and your feelings are to me. Know that I don't want you to stop. I don't want you to stop feeling. I don't want you to be sorry for feeling. I just want you to be okay." Crow looked at his trembling friend. He reached up and pushed Yusei's bangs back from his forehead once more. "Talk to me."

Yusei swallowed and sat in silence for a few moments. He opened his mouth to speak a few times but struggled to find the right words. He looked to Crow's hand, clamped tightly over his own hand. "I…feel so lost. So empty. I shouldn't have let him die. He shouldn't have died. If one of us had to, I should have been the one to go. Carrying his broken body back here broke me. I'd been searching so hard to find meaning for my life- for me, as myself, not the guy everyone knows for saving the city. I can save it again and again. So could you, though. With all of the doubt, though, every time, wondering if what I was doing was right or if my mere existence was the cause of some of the danger, I needed to find meaning… a reason for me to be here. He came along and gave me that reason. That meaning. I know you must have felt so left behind, with how quickly and strongly I was able to connect with him, how much time I spent with him, and I am so, so sorry for making you feel that way. I haven't gotten over him, though, and am trying so hard to fix him… Its taking so long, though, and I don't even know if it will work." Yusei stopped, and stifled a sob as tears filled his eyes and dripped from the edges. "What's killing me the most right know though is knowing that I feel all of that, and how I must be making you feel by saying it." He closed his eyes, trying to hold back the tears. Crow watched his face, and gently put an arm around his shoulder before speaking.

"First things first… You are not making me feel anything bad. What you are making me feel is the impact he had on you, and that I need to help you work through that impact. I never once felt an ounce of jealousy over the time you spent and the connection you built with him. You've been my best friend for my entire life, but I can't connect with you over that tech stuff you do. My brain's not built for that, haha, but it was great to see you find someone who could share that with you. I share other things with you. So don't for even one second feel that you caused or are causing me any sort of pain. You haven't. I didn't know that you were so worried about that… Wish I had, so I could have reassured you sooner that you were doing nothing wrong." Crow paused, giving Yusei a reassuring smile. "Next… I know you are trying to fix him. I know you are going to. That could take some time, though. More time, I mean. A lot more, especially with you struggling as you are. You'll bring him back, but I think that for now, you need to…accept that Bruno is gone."

Yusei turned his head to look at Crow. His face contorted into a look of shock and anguish. "G…gone…"

"Yeah, gone," Crow repeated softly. "Not gone forever. Just for now, gone. Until you can bring him back. You lost somebody important to you, and you are grieving. Let yourself grieve fully, so that you can be free and get your focus back." Crow squeezed Yusei's shoulder gently. "For what its worth, I miss him, too."

At that, Yusei lost his remaining composure completely. Tears dripped freely down his face and he sobbed openly. He covered his eyes with his own hands, and didn't struggle when Crow gently pulled his hands away to pull him close. He buried his face into Crow's shoulder and let the tears come. Crow held him tightly.

Several minutes later, Yusei caught his breath and lifted his head from Crow's shoulder. Crow gently wiped the remaining tears from his face and gave him a sad smile. "Thank you," Yusei uttered, coughing slightly.

"Of course, buddy," Crow said, taking Yusei's hands in his own and massaging them gently. Yusei looked down at his hands in Crow's.

"I didn't know that anyone else cared about him," he said, his voice still shaking slightly. "I didn't know that anyone else missed him."

"Of course we miss him," Crow replied. "He was kind, compassionate, smart, funny, and caring. He was a part of our team, and he will be again when you bring him back. Remember once, when Jack was gone for a long time, and you brought him back? Its just like that, only it should be easier, because nobody is as stubborn as Jack. We had to get through Jack being gone, then, too, and we'll get through Bruno being gone now. You're not the only one feeling his absence. You're just definitely feeling it the most."

"I wish I could go back and stop him from dying," Yusei said through a half-sob.

"What's the point in going back and changing the past?" Crow asked, rhetorically. "I believe in the future, and so do you. So did Bruno. So _does_ Bruno. Keep looking ahead instead of behind." Crow gazed into Yusei's face. "Stop trying to deal with it on your own. I'm here for you, not just when you wake up screaming, but whenever you need me. Don't be so afraid to be vulnerable, and reach out when you need it."

Yusei nodded and wiped his eyes again. "Thanks, Crow." He leaned into Crow again, this time limply, letting his exhaustion take over him.

"Wanna' come sleep in my bed?" Crow asked. "The sheets are clean, not all sweaty like these ones," he continued with a chuckle. Yusei snorted and nodded. "Wanna' get cleaned up, first?" Yusei nodded again. Crow hugged him tightly for a moment and then stood up. He helped Yusei to stand up, and then went over to the dresser to get a clean set of pajamas. "Do you want a shirt?" he asked. Yusei hesitated, and then nodded, crossing his arms in front of his chest in a second attempt to shield his topless figure. Crow rolled his eyes and grabbed a shirt. "You don't have to wear a shirt in my bed if you don't want to." He couldn't help but grin as Yusei blushed. The two walked across the hall to the bathroom. Crow turned the shower faucet on as Yusei pulled a towel out of the closet. Once the water was warm, Crow turned to leave the room and give Yusei privacy as he undressed.

"Crow?" Yusei called out, softly. Crow turned back to his friend.

"What's up?"

Yusei blushed a bit. "Could you…help me?" he asked, jerking his head slightly towards the shower. Crow smiled and nodded. "After all…as you said…you've seen me naked enough times before." Crow laughed hard at that, and pulled another towel out of the closet. He made sure Yusei didn't slip while stepping in to the shower before taking his own pajamas off and stepping in as well.

"When I said you can be vulnerable with me, I didn't necessarily mean like this," Crow chuckled, watching Yusei's hair fall flat under the water. "But this is good, too. I'll be here for you however you need me."

"I just didn't want to be alone," Yusei said, pushing his flattened hair back from his face. He reached for the soap, but Crow swiped it first.

"Understandable," Crow said, lathering up a loofa and reaching forward to wash Yusei's chest. "When you're in pain, sometimes its easier to move less."

"Yes…" Yusei said, relaxing as Crow scrubbed his collarbones and shoulders. When Crow had finished washing his front, he turned so that his back faced his friend. "Crow, I…"

"Hmm?"

"I…loved him."

"You loved- Bruno?"

"Yes."

"Huh." Crow shrugged as he scrubbed Yusei's back. "Didn't figure you were into anyone romantically. You—do mean, love-love, right?" Yusei nodded slowly. "Did you tell him?"

"No… I was afraid of anyone finding out…"

"Love is nothing to be ashamed of," Crow said, smirking slightly as Yusei arched and squirmed when he scrubbed his lower back and sides. "Hold still, or I'll tickle you for real later."

"That's not—YEEP—helpful when you're touching me there," Yusei squeaked as Crow ran over the sides of his ribs with the loofa. He yelped again when Crow playfully poked a particularly sensitive spot.

"I think you should tell him you love him, once he's back," Crow continued. "If you're feeling regret now, make it a priority once it's possible. I'm sure he'll appreciate it. Who knows, maybe he'll even return your feelings."

"I'd be too ashamed to tell him," Yusei replied with a sad tone. "If I did, he'd probably realize what I was like while he was gone, and that'd be shameful."

"He needs to know what you're like while he's gone," Crow said, firmly. "This can't happen to you again, not this way, at least. If he has any missions left that could result in him dying, he needs to get out of them, or find a way to complete them without leaving you like this again. Even if he's not romantically inclined, as your friend he'll appreciate what he means to you and not want you to have to feel all of this hurt again."

"But…what if he doesn't feel the same way?"

"He tried to kill you, remember," Crow said flatly. "It wasn't on purpose, but it still happened, so the least he could do is hear you out. Also, there's no reason you can't program it into him."

"I could never…force him to love me."

"I don't think you'd have to. Again, even if he's not romantically inclined, I think he'll still feel for you and all that you've done and been through." Crow paused as he rinsed out the loofa. "Want me to wash your hair?"

"Sure," Yusei replied. He sighed and closed his eyes as Crow's fingers ran through his hair. When he had finished, Crow made sure to rinse all of the soap out and turned off the water. He reached out and snagged the two towels, passing one to Yusei. The two dried off in calm silence and dressed back into their pajamas. Crow grabbed the hair dryer and blew Yusei's hair dry, brushing it soothingly as he did so. He couldn't help but smile as he watched Yusei's eyes slowly close in contentment.

"Maybe you do need Bruno to be your boyfriend," Crow said with a chuckle. Yusei opened one eye and raised his eyebrow. "It's been a long time since someone's taken care of you like this, hasn't it? You've been through and done so much recently; you could use the attention." Yusei closed his eye again. Crow finished drying his hair and switched off the dryer. He ran the brush through Yusei's hair again, a bit trickier as it had resumed its upright and back position, but nonetheless made sure there were no tangles before setting the brush down. "Ready to get some rest?"

Yusei nodded, rubbing his eye. Crow opened the door and led him down the hall to his own room. He pulled the sheets down, gesturing for Yusei to lay down. Once he saw that Yusei was settled in, he turned off the light and climbed into the bed.

"Crow?" Yusei said softly in the darkness.

"Yea, Yusei?"

"Thank you."

"No problem, buddy."

Crow closed his eyes and exhaled heavily, settling more comfortably into the bed. Just as he was about to drift off to sleep, a small voice broke through the darkness.

"Crow?"

"What's up?"

"I can't sleep."

Crow leaned up on his elbows and turned on the bedside table lamp. He looked at Yusei and sighed lightly. "What's on your mind now?"

"Just…still him."

"Do you want to talk about it more?"

"Not particularly, I just…I wish my mind would calm down."

"Hmm…well…I think you're already pretty tired, just a bit wound up now…so, what if I…" Crow slowly pushed the blankets off of both himself and Yusei. "What if I…DID THIS!"

Crow's hands flew to Yusei's sides, fingers wriggling lightly over his ribs. Yusei squeaked and tried to push his hands away. Crow jumped up and straddled Yusei's hips, pinning him to the bed. Yusei's squeaks gave way to laughter as Crow tickled him mercilessly up and down his sides.

"Ahh- Crow! S-stop!" Yusei yelled through his laughter. Crow grinned devilishly.

"You see, Yusei," he said, bringing his hands up to tickle the other's neck. "Your problem is that you're so serious all the time. You need to learn to laugh more!"

"I-I'm laughing n-now!" Yusei yelped, laughing harder and harder. Crow couldn't help but laugh a bit himself. He reached down to tickle Yusei's sides one more time before slowing his fingers into gentle, soothing strokes. He smiled gently as he stroked his friend's ribs, watching the other gasp a few times before breathing more regularly.

"Better?" He asked, moving a hand up to stroke Yusei's collarbones.

"Yeah," Yusei replied, somewhat breathless. He swallowed and took a breath in. "I hate to admit it because of what you might do to me, but that felt good."

Crow laughed. "I won't tickle you again now, but I'll remember you said that the next time you're so down," he said with a wink. He had to laugh again when Yusei shuddered in response. "Think you can sleep now?"

"Maybe," Yusei said, watching as Crow climbed off of him and settled back down next to him. "Could you…if its not asking too much…come a bit closer?"

"Of course," Crow said, reaching up to turn off the lamp. He gently pressed a hand against Yusei's shoulder to prompt him to roll onto his side, and then moved closer, pressing his front against Yusei's back. He slid one arm under Yusei and draped the other on top, holding him tightly. "Better?"

"Much," Yusei muttered, his voice giving away how exhausted he was. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Crow smiled into the back of Yusei's head, nuzzling his face into the sleek, black hair. He closed his eyes, but listened intently to the sound of his friend's breathing as it became slower and more steady. Feeling the other body relax completely in his arms, he smiled, inhaled, and allowed himself to drift off into the embrace of sleep.


End file.
